Bubblydelight

As times goes by and the tears still fall,
were you ever really with me at all.
I gave you my life, my love and my laughter,
and all I got was saddness ever after.

And so I sit and dream once more,
for a chance to come knocking at my door.
My heart set free from the confine's within,
my mind blown away from this weary din.

So as I keep my passion locked up,
only time will tell if I'm in luck.........

I cant wait till next week when H goes off to Italy for 4 days. The time alone to be me and enjoy all the things I love in life. WOW that will read as such a cruel statement but H tends to either be sleeping, moaning or complaining about some illness or other, I'm more of a live for the moment type of person. I think that we waste so much time in our lives trying to discover who we are and fit normal everday life in, that we forget to carry on having amazing fun.

If or what would you do if you had one day off from everyday life????? (money no object) Would you waste the time or use it to fulfill a desire. The world is your oyster but will you dare to grab it and jump on board for that amazing thrill!!!!!!!

That moment in time, when your whole body aches and you know that you are on the crest of a wave, not quite sure where it will lead you,but feeling the anticipation mount within. That feeling when your whole body tingles and your head starts to spin as you get lost in time.  We all seem to be searching for that perfect moment, is there one? Does it exist?  Or more importantly will we ever find it !

I'm sure I live in a hugh fantasy world, one where everyone is happy and smiling and that all dreams come true..... well especially the hot horny ones !!!!!!

Well as the week goes on life just seems to be going on a downward spiral, H is just being a real wet blanket and god I sooooo hate that ( men should be men and not pathetic wimps ) oups guess I'm taking it all out on my blog! sorry.

Have discovered a few things about myself recently or were they just thing I knew and kept hidden? Mmmmmm must spend some time and work that one out. This downward spiral all started last friday when H was complaining of chest pains, tingles and cold sweats, but would he pop to the docs or casualty NO, how selfish can he be..... would he really leave a little boy of 9 without his father ?? did he really only think of himself, he only had to go 2 mins in the car to casualty for a check, was that really to much trouble ????

Well now I have managed to upset a dear friend of mine cos I am in a right stinkin frame of mind x

As the heat grows from the fire with in,
the passion flows and my head starts to spin.
My body tingles from top to toe
and I find myself going to only a place I know.

I love the feelings that passion evokes,
soft gentle kisses and long flowing strokes.
Time to loose ones self in the mystery of desire
for hour upon hour.

The scene is set
the mood just right
as I sit here and wait in the fire lit.

But will you come, I dont know
would it be to far to go.
Time will tell and so I wait
for you to arrive at my gate.

As I sit here and write, looking into the sun light,
the saddness I feel was not part of my dream.
my life is a mess, but there is one thing I bless,
my son to be happy and free.

Today I made a hugh decision, and so,
with a heavy heart my dream falls apart,
but I look to that light
all sunny and bright and know my life could be different.

So I look forward to the time when he is away
and my life will change for the better.
The house will be filled with music and smiles,
fun and happiness, love and laughter.

For four days you see while he is away
that sun will come into the house.
It will warm up my heart and make me feel apart
of something very special.

I was looking through some old emails earlier today and it's funny when you read them back what a load of strange things I write about sometimes and now I am sitting wondering just how does my mind work !!!!!!

I have a re-occuring dream, and well, if I got it anaylised, would I really want to know the meaning? It goes like this ...........

I have booked a log cabin up in Scotland for the weekend, one with a big open fire and a fur rug infront of it. The sky is blue with a thick snow fall outside, the fire is roaring and the room is all cosy and snug.

But I dont want to spend it alone so I send him the ticket for the flight up.

Greeting him at the log cabin door with a warm smile and a glint in my my eye. I look up and kiss him passionately, deeply and longingly. I lead him in to the lounge and stand infront of the fire, the lights are soft in the back ground, all that can be heard is the crackle of the fire. I can feel his hands slowly move over my body pulling me in closer and closer till I can hear the beat of his heart and feel the passion mount between us. We slowly undress each other, as our hands and mouths explore each other's bodies. Everything is soft and gentle and slow, a bit like time standing still as the sexual tension increases. We lie down on the rug still entwined, still exploring, then as my head starts to spin and my breath gets heavier, he looks straight into my eyes and I feel him take me.

And then I usually wake....... but not all the time !!!!!!!!!!

Today if I had a choice, I would pack up a warm picnic get in the car and drive to the beach. Up over the Welsh mountains with all the spectacular views and waterfalls. Then down into Wales and its great beaches. I love to chase the waves and build sandcastles and hunt in rock pools lol think I'm still a big kid at heart or perhaps the saying ......"simple things please simple minds" is true!!!!!!

Well everything is back to normal this morning, my son is back at school and I'm back at work. The house is all peaceful and soon to be tidy again (well if I get off the comp that is lol)

I have calmed down after my rant over the weekend and so popped to see a very good friend yesterday, someone who I had missed all over christmas. It was fantastic to see them again well until this person did there back in (mmmmmm I really must have eaten far to many chocolates over Christmas!!! back on the diet then ) then I spent the rest of the evening worrying about them. Thats the hard part, not being able to go and help a friend at a moments notice.

God what a crappy day...... poor h has had to lug furniture around the room as I vent my frustrations out on the lounge. Today I wanted to run away and just leave everyone to it. I could have packed a bag, grabed my son and gone, not sure where I would have gone but far away for sure. Somewhere quiet, peaceful but by the coast. It doesn't help that it's the wrong girly week for me so my hormones are already wacked out, but even so, if I could have run I would have.

Why is it when you really mean something, people can be so rude? It had been a rare occasion that I didn't have my son for the whole night so H and I went out. It was a good night, with for once H in high spirits and me just getting tipsy on them !! Anyway a friend of mine was there and so towards the end of the evening I had sent a text saying "have a wild night". Now it was meant in the nicest possible way but no I get a text saying "wat ever" and boy did it make my blood boil - nobody has ever said that to me and what the hell is it supposed to mean anyway? In fact its one of my most hated sayings and well I was still fumming this morning, so I thought I would write it out of my system lol.

Well I pulled of the party of the century, keeping both kids and adults amused with good old fashioned party games. You know the sort of things, charades, cardboard box, etc but what amazed me more was that there was not to much devastation to the house!!!

It has been a lovely quiet Christmas and I have enjoyed playing games with my son but I shall be glad when they are back to school, just so I can get back into some sort of routine lol.